Where does the time go?!?!? Seriously!

      This time change is seriously messing with me today.  It's only 8pm and I'm sitting in the bed in the dark contemplating going to sleep.  That's so very sad!  I understand the reason why daylight savings time was necessary in the time when farming was big but we have electricity and we aren't up before dawn to take care of our animals.  The Hub, being the ever present optimist, says at least you can drive to work and it be somewhat light outside.   But then again give it another month and I'm right back where I am....leaving at 6am and being pitch dark.  I don't think my family truly understands that after getting up at 5am every day I'm just beat by around 9ish.  At least the dogs seem to be okay with this process and gladly burrough down in the bed to watch a little tele and then off to snooze land.
        I can't believe in just 13 short days the smallest clown will be turning 9.   For the first time since I can remember he has not counted out the days until his birthday in front of the entire family each night at the dinner table.  There is something to be said for getting older and more patient with life and the pace that life moves.  I'm just waiting to hear what kind of cake I'm going to be conned into making for this birthday.  I'm seriously hoping and crossing my fingers that he is not going to ask for the strawberry cake that two of the others asked for.   After three batches the last go round I think it is time for something different.  Maybe I can "guide" him into choosing something new.  And hope and pray that the other children don't influence his decision.
        On another note,  I am currently in a count down of my own.  In just about 7 days I will find out whether or not my insurance is going to approve for me to have a hysterectomy in December.  Not to say that this has been nerve wrecking or anything but it has!  In August and September I bled for over 40 days straight with no relief.  Of course since then there has been nothing but the occasional spotting and because of the Depo Provera shot I should not be having any sort of activity.  At 36 I'm at the point where I know that I would be at risk for having a child with Down Syndrome.  Not that this would be something that I wouldn't be able to deal with (because that is part of my profession after all) but I feel that my time for having children has passed.   I have four children and it would be unfair to them at this stage in the game to add another mouth that would essentially take money and things away from them.  I'm happy with my family and the fact that I only birthed one of those children.  I've been young while they have been young and have been able to keep up with them.  In 10 more years the youngest clown will be graduating and moving into adulthood so Hub and I agree that starting over now would be difficult and unfair to all the children.  It makes me sad that Hub and I don't have a child that we can call ours but that's okay too.  We've both just adopted the other's children and been perfectly happy with that arrangement.  I know it sounds terrible that I say that I don't want to birth a child with a disability.  No one does but I know that I have moved into the risk category with my age and I don't feel that it would be fair.  Granted had Princess had a disability I would have loved her just as I do now.  I have an uncle with Down Syndrome who I admire and adore greatly.  I hope that I've been able to justify myself without totally sounding like an ass.  I love my students with disabilities but I also know what having a child with a disability entails....it's a lot and I only have these students for 8.5 hours per day.