Oink OInk Flu

     

Princess has gotten the oink oink flu from school.   She has been forced to wear a mask and is crying sporadically.  Once again, I was a bad mommy on Thursday.....I doubted.  I thought there was something that she had at school which had cause a psychosomatic reaction in the form of a migraine.  It has happened, actually it happened last month but that turned out to be a sinus infection that triggered the migraine.  Okay so maybe I am the one with the history of non-trust issues here.  The doctor (a nice pretty, young little thang) is ready to order a CAT scan because Princess in on the table crying because she is in soo much pain and the light in the room was hurting her head.  When the nurse from school called she did not have a fever.  Hence my initial doubt.  An hour later at the doctor's office...a FEVER!  How stupid and lowly did I feel.  To make matters worse there is no Tamiflu to be found. (I will get to that adventure in a bit) 

     Anyway, I had to take yet another day off of work and was watching the Today show.  They were talking about spanking between the ages of 2-4 may cause a reduction of IQ points in children.  Pullllleazze!  Give me a break!  I am not condoning that people should beat their children senseless but a little tap on the bottom is a mere attention getter.  I rarely spank my children but the few that they have received, they now know that I mean business just by my tone of voice or as they fondly refer to the look as, "the hairy eyeball."  My grandmother, who is from the old school, spent a few days with us last summer even commented on how well mannered all of my children were.  They have respect.  Respect is not taught by many parents in these days and times and it can be seen in the schools and society at large.  Like I said, I am not saying that it is even remotely acceptable to beat your children.  For some children, spanking does not work.  Princess is such a child.  When I was a single mother I did spank when I felt I needed to but it only seemed to make her angrier and more determined to do whatever it was that she was currently engaged in.  As teenagers, my girls live in constant fear of having their phones and computers taken away and that is exactly what will happen if they cannot follow the rules Hubs and I set for them.  They may not like it, but it is what it is. 

Here brother and the Hub decided they would try to scare old Oink Oink away!!!!!!  To funny!

Momma said there would be days like this....trust me I should have listened.

        When school starts it always seems like the beginning of the end.  Leaving before dark and then coming home to scurry around making sure that dinner and chores are done. I'm sure that one day it won't be  so hectic and everyone says that I will miss all of the hussle and bussle.  I think these people never lived in a house with four wild children.  Next weekend I will get my taste of life sans children and hubby though.  The kids will be with grandparents and the Hubb will be in Atlanta at a car show.  I probably should take him up on the offer to meet him there but somehow I think the peace and quiet will do me some good.  I truly believe in mental health days and my mental health weekend in but a mear week away!  Maybe I can start a crochet project or paint that chair planter that my father in-law fixed for me.  Maybe lying in bed in PJ's all day would be good toooooo!  As for tomorrow it is cleaning day!  The youngest little piggy is going to have a thorough cleaning because he has stuffed and crammed until I can no longer stand to enter his room!  If you don't hear from me for a few weeks, I was probably sucked into the abyss that is his room!!!!!

Photography

     Just a few random shots from summer.  I suppose you can guess who is a camera hog in our family!

My husband in a great flea market junkie!  It actually works too!

Miss Dreamy!

And then there was the dog days of summer!  Literally! 

Doggie kisses from our other babies Sam (left) and Buddy (below).

Avoidance

 Avoidance is something that typically I excel at but I suppose that is going to end this weekend at least in one area of my life.  The sperm donor, specifically my sperm donor, is coming to town this weekend and it is not something that I am looking forward to.   I know some girls can say that they are "daddy's little girl" but for me that has never been the case.  I've actually been in counseling for a few years now to try and address my abandonment issues where the donor are the center of topic.  I've learned that I only have to tolerate his prescence a few times per year and that is just bearable.  There was a time when I longed to have that close relationship and have in brief spurts and experienced that but it is quite like the moon...waning and waxing.

My mum is my best friend now and that has always been enough.  Children of divorce often feel that they can push the limits with the parent that they stay with because there is that security of knowing that they will never leave.  We can abuse and growl and gnash at those we live with because we know in our heart of hearts that they are there to the bitter end.  I don't know how others view this sort of thing and I can only speak to my situation but I have watched the same play out with Bre and how she has dealt with her father and I.  She can yell and scream and tell me her mind and not be bothered with it.  On the other hand, she will not express herself freely with her own father.  I don't know if it is fear that drives us to it but I think in the deepest parts of our minds we feel that our relationship is precarious.  In a lot of ways we revert back to childish ways in our thought that if we don't please that other parent (like we would a friend) then they will not love us anymore.  As an adult I chose to avoid because I don't have to deal with worrying about losing something that I don't have.  My sperm donor has always had time for his girlfriends and in the last ten years his step daughters.  My family and I are an after thought.  I can deal with that now because with therapy I have been able to prioritize differently.  My relationship with the sperm donor are low on my list of priorities at this point in the game.  I've tried, at the suggesting of my psychologist, to put my thoughts down in a letter to let the sperm donor know my feelings but it just never gets finished.  I don't feel the need to punish myself in that manner.

Point being the sperm donor and step mom will be arriving to stay at my house in a few hours.  I am mentally trying to prepare because I don't want this weekend to be ruined.  I want to let them get to know my children and this weekend is not about me.  I think I'll be saying the serenity prayer lots over the next few days.

God grant me the strength.......

Sick Day

Yes that is tissues coming from the nose of that box!  I'm unfortunately having to take a day off of work from the crud....Where did I get this nice cold, flu, or whatever the hell it is?  I know exactly who the culprit is.  Last Thursday night one of my little clowns decided to fall on his arm while playing football.  After much icing and watching and many tears the hubs and I decided that we needed to take him to Urgent Care.  Because I didn't really want what my hubs had made for dinner (usally I love his cooking but heartburn in a tortilla, I think not)  it was my job to take Shayde to the Doc.  As you know, because it is all over the news, swine flu is in the air.  There were people there with symptoms and they were dutifully wearing their masks so as not to put the rest of us in peril.  But there is that one little princess who refused to put on a mask, instead she is under her blankie puking in a pan. 

Granny brings the pan (filled with puke mind you) across the whole of the waiting area.  We all know that pan was teaming with whatever funk that child had and it was wafting through the air for those of us not required to wear a mask.  Lo and behold Friday I start sneezing and my face was itching like crazy...the itchy face is usually a sign of one of two things (drunkeness or illness).  Unfortunately it was the latter of the two.  So on my free days off and a child-free weekend to boot...I'm carrying forth the funk of the pretty, pretty princess who refused to wear the mask.   Arrrggghhhhhhh! 

        So here I sit, dog on either side (snoring I might add) and I'm feeling increasingly jealous that I too am not snoozing with them.  A box of tissues down and a new one started.....sniff, sniff, honk, honk, sneeze, sneeze, cough, cough....and so it goes.  The ringmaster is down but not out.

My husband thinks he is still a teenager!

  I truly love my husband but sometimes he just infuriates me!  I know that he is in some twisted way reliving his childhood but going the the Cruefest every year but today was not the day to go.  I've come down with a cold which could not have been foretold.  I can let that one go because losing money is not something that I am keen on.  But then again it is Sunday and like every other week on Sunday I have to wait patiently for my ex mother in-law to call so that I can drive the 45 minute drive to get the princess so that she can come home.  That in itself is a sore subject that I'm sure I will get on a soapbox with eventually.  Right now it is the current delimma that I have to face.  I hate to say this but there are times when it comes to the day to day care of the children and house that I feel like a working single mom.  I know that in the farm business there are going to be long (I do mean long!) nights for the hubs.  During sports season I run around like a derranged lunatic trying to get everyone where they need to go while I pray the whole time the I don't forget to pick anyone up.  (I have not done that yet but it really wouldn't surprise me if I did)  Back to the 45 minute drive and the fact that my 14 year old (who has been less than responsible as of late) will have to watch the 11 and 8 year old lil clowns.  So that leaves them alone for close to 2 hours assuming that the ex mother in-law is on time and that is a rarity in itself. 
     I'm on a soapbox and I really didn't intend on getting on a soapbox but it happens.  Just like shit happens!  I just think it is ridiculous that two grown men are acting like groupies.  I wrote this and didn't post it so the saga continued!

Part Deaux

Of course the cold that has been plagueing my since Friday decided it was time to get really wicked on the drive up to get Bre!  I swear if I had any luck  it would be pure bad luck because the rain was hideous.  The kind that makes you want to look up at the sky to see if there are a few cats and dogs mixed in.  The further I get up the  road, the more queasy I got.  So queasy that I had to stop on the side of the interstate and throw up.  Which was just great because South Carolina picks and chooses where they mow the grass.  Bre is staring at me with a mixture of shock and disgust and then the worry set in...."Please don't puke in the car!"  "That would be just nasty and I don't think I want to ride in a puke care!"  Such comforting thoughts.  Ok now the adventure starts....my cell rings and Shayde is stammering on the other line.  Through waves of feeling pukey I'm thinking that they have broken something or the lights have gone out in the storm.  Oh to be so lucky....that wasn't the case.  He had diarrhea and had not quite made it to the bathroom.  Doing 80mph in the rain on the interstate while holding back puke and trying to explain how he should go about cleaning himself up.  He would have been mortified if I'd even hinted that he ask his older sister to help him so that thought was definitely out. 

Yesterday was just further proof that I live in a circus! 

New Beginnings

I've blogged a few years ago but the circus overtook all my time. By circus I don't mean the one with the elephants, lions, tigers, and acrobats that travels around and brings us a few hours of joy. My life and family are my circus and I am the ringmaster/head clown! Welcome to the show! I live with four little clowns and one clown that lives in another nest. My husband may try to claim to be a co-ringmaster but he's just a big ole teddy bear. They know this and they take full advantage when I'm away. My husband and I married four years ago last June and have been going strong since with many adventures along the way. He brought with him four clowns of his own and I brought one dramatic clown princess with me. The beginnings were rough because the children (clowns) were not used to sharing their parents with someone new. My daughter and I moved two hours away from home to join this new, bigger circus and it's been a true journey since. I suppose I should introduce you to the players in my show....So here goes!

My hubs- Lovely man, who I love very much! He is the bread to my butter or fruit to my loops. I can say I was truly blessed when I met him.

Ok I really hate having my picture taken...but my daughter caught the hairy eyeball in this one. She likes to refer to my doo as the Crusty the Clown meets Kramer!


My bio-child. The dramatic, princess clown. She has the hair to match her personality I must say that after nine years of being an only child and then being thrown into our blended family circus she has done quite well. I don't always understand her but I don't suppose you are supposed to understand teenagers.


My step-children (who by all accounts should be my very own)


The quiet, shy clown that needs much watching. I never realized how much that saying was true but since becoming a teen it trully is the truth. She is the quiet observer that in her own right longs to have her bio-mom be what she thinks a mother should be.






The middle child who is a clown of all clowns. He is definitely going to be a smartass like his father when he grows up. He is the one that responds when princess clown announces she is going running, "Where you gonna run to?"

The youngest and future heartbreaking clown. He has that "I'm the baby and you will obey me!" He really can be so sweet and even looks like my and the princess clown. Since getting him at three he's really been into the swing of things and might as well have come out of my very own body!

The oldest clown child. He may not be a child but still has a lot to learn about the world. I've told him if you don't want honesty, I'm not the one you should be talking to. It is our hope that he will find his way without too many stumbles along the way.