Oink OInk Flu

     

Princess has gotten the oink oink flu from school.   She has been forced to wear a mask and is crying sporadically.  Once again, I was a bad mommy on Thursday.....I doubted.  I thought there was something that she had at school which had cause a psychosomatic reaction in the form of a migraine.  It has happened, actually it happened last month but that turned out to be a sinus infection that triggered the migraine.  Okay so maybe I am the one with the history of non-trust issues here.  The doctor (a nice pretty, young little thang) is ready to order a CAT scan because Princess in on the table crying because she is in soo much pain and the light in the room was hurting her head.  When the nurse from school called she did not have a fever.  Hence my initial doubt.  An hour later at the doctor's office...a FEVER!  How stupid and lowly did I feel.  To make matters worse there is no Tamiflu to be found. (I will get to that adventure in a bit) 

     Anyway, I had to take yet another day off of work and was watching the Today show.  They were talking about spanking between the ages of 2-4 may cause a reduction of IQ points in children.  Pullllleazze!  Give me a break!  I am not condoning that people should beat their children senseless but a little tap on the bottom is a mere attention getter.  I rarely spank my children but the few that they have received, they now know that I mean business just by my tone of voice or as they fondly refer to the look as, "the hairy eyeball."  My grandmother, who is from the old school, spent a few days with us last summer even commented on how well mannered all of my children were.  They have respect.  Respect is not taught by many parents in these days and times and it can be seen in the schools and society at large.  Like I said, I am not saying that it is even remotely acceptable to beat your children.  For some children, spanking does not work.  Princess is such a child.  When I was a single mother I did spank when I felt I needed to but it only seemed to make her angrier and more determined to do whatever it was that she was currently engaged in.  As teenagers, my girls live in constant fear of having their phones and computers taken away and that is exactly what will happen if they cannot follow the rules Hubs and I set for them.  They may not like it, but it is what it is. 

Here brother and the Hub decided they would try to scare old Oink Oink away!!!!!!  To funny!

Momma said there would be days like this....trust me I should have listened.

        When school starts it always seems like the beginning of the end.  Leaving before dark and then coming home to scurry around making sure that dinner and chores are done. I'm sure that one day it won't be  so hectic and everyone says that I will miss all of the hussle and bussle.  I think these people never lived in a house with four wild children.  Next weekend I will get my taste of life sans children and hubby though.  The kids will be with grandparents and the Hubb will be in Atlanta at a car show.  I probably should take him up on the offer to meet him there but somehow I think the peace and quiet will do me some good.  I truly believe in mental health days and my mental health weekend in but a mear week away!  Maybe I can start a crochet project or paint that chair planter that my father in-law fixed for me.  Maybe lying in bed in PJ's all day would be good toooooo!  As for tomorrow it is cleaning day!  The youngest little piggy is going to have a thorough cleaning because he has stuffed and crammed until I can no longer stand to enter his room!  If you don't hear from me for a few weeks, I was probably sucked into the abyss that is his room!!!!!

Photography

     Just a few random shots from summer.  I suppose you can guess who is a camera hog in our family!

My husband in a great flea market junkie!  It actually works too!

Miss Dreamy!

And then there was the dog days of summer!  Literally! 

Doggie kisses from our other babies Sam (left) and Buddy (below).

Avoidance

 Avoidance is something that typically I excel at but I suppose that is going to end this weekend at least in one area of my life.  The sperm donor, specifically my sperm donor, is coming to town this weekend and it is not something that I am looking forward to.   I know some girls can say that they are "daddy's little girl" but for me that has never been the case.  I've actually been in counseling for a few years now to try and address my abandonment issues where the donor are the center of topic.  I've learned that I only have to tolerate his prescence a few times per year and that is just bearable.  There was a time when I longed to have that close relationship and have in brief spurts and experienced that but it is quite like the moon...waning and waxing.

My mum is my best friend now and that has always been enough.  Children of divorce often feel that they can push the limits with the parent that they stay with because there is that security of knowing that they will never leave.  We can abuse and growl and gnash at those we live with because we know in our heart of hearts that they are there to the bitter end.  I don't know how others view this sort of thing and I can only speak to my situation but I have watched the same play out with Bre and how she has dealt with her father and I.  She can yell and scream and tell me her mind and not be bothered with it.  On the other hand, she will not express herself freely with her own father.  I don't know if it is fear that drives us to it but I think in the deepest parts of our minds we feel that our relationship is precarious.  In a lot of ways we revert back to childish ways in our thought that if we don't please that other parent (like we would a friend) then they will not love us anymore.  As an adult I chose to avoid because I don't have to deal with worrying about losing something that I don't have.  My sperm donor has always had time for his girlfriends and in the last ten years his step daughters.  My family and I are an after thought.  I can deal with that now because with therapy I have been able to prioritize differently.  My relationship with the sperm donor are low on my list of priorities at this point in the game.  I've tried, at the suggesting of my psychologist, to put my thoughts down in a letter to let the sperm donor know my feelings but it just never gets finished.  I don't feel the need to punish myself in that manner.

Point being the sperm donor and step mom will be arriving to stay at my house in a few hours.  I am mentally trying to prepare because I don't want this weekend to be ruined.  I want to let them get to know my children and this weekend is not about me.  I think I'll be saying the serenity prayer lots over the next few days.

God grant me the strength.......