Being a step-mother seriously stinks at times

      I was lucky in that when my mother remarried my step-grandparents were all about being fair.  For some years I was their only grandchild but then my cousins came along (who were their flesh and blood relatives). Even after my cousins came along my step-grandparents were always fair.  If they bought for my cousins, they bought something from me.  We all received stones from The Holy Land, dolls from England, and folk art from Romania.  What was done for one was done for all and it has always been that way.  I wish that I could say the same for my in-laws but our situation is far from that.  There is favoritism even between the biological grandchildren.  It makes me really sad.

     My step-daughter has kept our family in constant turmoil for the past 2 years.  We have had sexting, false rape  charges, sneaking to see people she shouldn't, nude pictures sent via the internet and phone to various boys both near and far, stealing from siblings, and chronic lying.  I've been told that she wished I was never here.  I've been disrespected not only by my step-daughter but also by my mother in-law on several occasions.  The adults should be working as a team but somehow it is a battle.   My step-daughter has sucked them into her sob story of poor pitiful me and they have fallen hook line and sinker.  There has been a part of me that just wants to throw up my hands and say "go to it."  I feel for my husband because I know that he is truly stuck in the middle.  We have both tried to provide good examples for my step-daughter and let her know that she is loved.  She doesn't want love from me but I try to tell her on a regular basis that I love her but at the same time I will not tolerate lying and stealing.

     The reason for this post is to serve as a chance for me to vent.  I'm not sure what the future holds for this child.  I know that she is hell bent on doing things that she should not.  I'm truly sorry that her mother walked out on her and the boys.  I know that she is searching for something that I don't believe she will ever find from her mother but that is not for me to say.  I do know that she is a game player and tries to pit family members against family members on a constant basis.  We did some mandatory counseling after the false rape charges that revealed she may have a personality disorder.  As a result she was dismissed because as the counselor told us she has a disorder that requires her to admit that there is a problem.  I dread adulthood for her because as of this point she has not admitted that she has issues.  Every single time we went to counseling every thing was fine....  I'm just so frustrated that my in-laws feel the need to work against the Hub and I.

    But back to the unfairness, she was invited out to the in-laws (they didn't bother to call us and ask for any permission) to watch the big SEC game this afternoon.  There was no invitation extended to the other children just like last night when my father in-law took her to a blue grass show.  She is the pet and that is the bottom line.  As I've told my husband, when the other children refuse to have nothing to do with them it will be of their own design.  Needless to say, I'm very sad and angry about the entire situation but it is my life.  I've chosen to be a part of a blended family and this is just one of the many facets associated with being in this life.