If you noticed in one of my previous posts, there are some not so nice things going on with her biological father. To get down to brass tax, he has told her (via a phone conversation mind you) that there is a 75% chance that he is not even her father. Crazy? Ya think? We have made some calls and found out that after the age of 13 a child can decide when/if they visit the non-custodial parent. So after this fiasco she has not seen him, however, she has continued to go and stay every other weekend with my ex-monster in-law. I understand her reasoning because she is pretty much all that her grandmother has (seeing as how her son isn't talking to her either). But for some unknown reason last night after dropping off Princess the ex monster in-law decided to yell and blame a child for her bad relationship with her father. How exactly does that work, I ask? I'm not entirely sure but this seems like an instant replay of my paternal grandmother blaming me for my crappy relationship with my father.
First of all, a child should not be held responsible for failed relationships with a parent. It is our job, after all, to make sure that the relationship works and our children know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they have our unconditional love. Secondly, since when is speaking your mind a crime. Our children should be taught to speak their mind and stand for what they believe in. If this child feels slighted by her father and cannot find many good things to say about him, then why should she put on a show and lie to inflate his ego? She should not.
I've been told by my ex that he wants a paternity test but that I must sign an agreement stating that if she isn't his daughter he can still be a part of her life. My response was that the only agreement would be that she could choose when/if she sees him. I don't have a problem with this but I will not pay for a paternity test. He has the doubts, not me. Same as when we were getting our divorce and he questioned paternity. The lawyers and judge put the burden of proof on him which suddenly caused him to drop the whole charge.
So, here I am on a Saturday afternoon with Princess two hours away and possibly seeing him for the first time since he lodged this complaint and assault on me. All that I can do is worry. I've sent my text to her telling her to remember that I love her. To stand up for what she believes. Don't fall for the sob story read between the lines of what you are being told. If you need to talk, I'm always here for you. Hope everything goes well today. Yes, I know that all those texts wreak of worry and anxiety. I am who I am, a worry wart to the deep core of my being. So I'm watching the clock tick away the day and worrying about what is going on with my baby.
What's your worry?
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